As any parent knows, having a conversation with your children sometimes feels like speaking a foreign language. Successful parent\/child communication involves cracking the code.<\/p>\n
Kids regularly speak in a code of their own making. If you ask them why, they might respond, \u201cBecause of reasons.\u201d I hear \u201creasons\u201d a lot around my house, which is code speak for one of two options. First: \u201cYou don\u2019t want to know.\u201d This is patently untrue. I\u2019m the mom \u2014 I always want to know. The second option: \u201cI don\u2019t want to tell you.\u201d Ah, here\u2019s where the maternal prying begins. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you want to tell me?\u201d And the answer is, invariably, \u201creasons.\u201d<\/p>\n
Speaking of prying, kids know that parents are noted for their intensely personal questions designed to either extract information or embarrass their offspring; questions like, \u201cHow was school today?\u201d or \u201cHow are your grades?\u201d Kid Code has evolved to counter such insensitive questions with the multipurpose answer, \u201cGood.\u201d \u201cHow was the Taylor Swift concert that you\u2019ve been waiting six months to attend?\u201d \u201cGood.\u201d \u201cHow was your science presentation that kept you up all night in a cold sweat for the past week and a half?\u201d \u201cGood.\u201d <\/p>\n
In our house we\u2019ve taken to asking for the Incident Report, in an effort to bypass the uninspired \u201cgood.\u201d Suddenly details appear, and we hear the tales of ketchup packets flicked up to stick on the ceiling, or the contest to earn extra credit by capturing the mouse in math class. <\/p>\n
Once the flow of communication begins, parents have to deal with the \u201clike\u201d issue. \u201cLike\u201d is the most common code word in a teen\u2019s vocabulary. It can show up multiple times in the same utterance, as in: \u201cMe and Sissy were, like, going downtown, and she was like, \u201clet\u2019s take the bus,\u201d and I was like, \u201cdo you have bus fare?\u201d and she was like, \u201clet\u2019s ask your dad,\u201d and I was like, \u201che\u2019s, like, sleeping right now,\u201d and she was like, \u201coh well, we can wait till he wakes up.\u201d <\/p>\n
You\u2019ve heard it, right? Challenge a teenager to go five minutes without saying the word \u201clike\u201d \u2014 it can\u2019t be done.<\/p>\n
Another confusing aspect of Kid Code occurs when parents take their child\u2019s comments at face value. Big mistake. <\/p>\n
A kid might say, \u201cI\u2019ve got a soccer game this weekend,\u201d to which his parent responds, \u201cOkay. Thanks for letting me know.\u201d Parents, beware! This is not a mere passage of information. Decoded, this sentence reads, \u201cI need you to wash my soccer uniform, help me find my shin guards, drive me to the field, and once there, coach will probably ask you to referee the game.\u201d Or, if the child lives in Southeast Alaska, the translation is more like, \u201cI need you to take me to the ferry terminal at 6 a.m. to travel 14 hours to get to the game \u2014 oh, and by the way, I need $45 for the activity fee and another $60 for meals.\u201d Best to get to the root of the decoded message before you thoughtlessly respond, \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sometimes Kid Code can morph into a legalistic system of loopholes through which kids get what they want by interpreting their parents\u2019 words to suit their own agendas. Consider the following example: Mom instructs the child to, \u201cFirst do your chores, then you can watch TV.\u201d When Mom returns home, she finds the chores undone and the child watching TV. She confronts him with his noncompliance, and the kid replies, \u201cYou told me to do my chores before watching TV. I did chores last Tuesday. That was before I turned on the TV this afternoon. I did what you asked.\u201d A smart-aleck, to be sure, this child is destined for greatness as a lawyer and master of the code.<\/p>\n
To be fair, parents have their own parental code, most noted for the myriad of ways to pronounce the word \u201cno.\u201d These include, \u201cI\u2019ll think about it,\u201d \u201cGive me a minute,\u201d \u201cGo ask your father,\u201d \u201cFirst, do x-y-z,\u201d or the ubiquitous, \u201cMaybe.\u201d Generations of kids have gotten their hopes up at the sound of \u201cmaybe,\u201d only to have them dashed when their parents come back with the \u201cno\u201d that they always intended. <\/p>\n
Misunderstandings and family tensions are bound to result from the collision of two different codes coexisting in the same household. Sometimes that friction gets bad enough to warrant outside help. Who you gonna call? Codebusters!<\/p>\n
If only . . . <\/p>\n
In reality, it\u2019s up to the parents to learn to crack the Kid Code and decipher their children\u2019s attempts at communication. Don\u2019t worry parents; you\u2019re, like, up for the task, because of reasons. In the end, if I ask how your latest chat with your child went, you\u2019ll tell me, \u201cGood.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u2022 Peggy McKee Barnhill is a wife, mother and aspiring author who lives in Juneau. She likes to look at the bright side of life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As any parent knows, having a conversation with your children sometimes feels like speaking a foreign language. Successful parent\/child communication involves cracking the code. Kids regularly speak in a code of their own making. If you ask them why, they might respond, \u201cBecause of reasons.\u201d I hear \u201creasons\u201d a lot around my house, which is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":107,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","wds_primary_category":7,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"yst_prominent_words":[],"class_list":["post-2113","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2113","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/107"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2113"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2113\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2113"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2113"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2113"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=2113"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}