This August the editor of Alaska Magazine, looking for someone with Stone Age tendencies to test outdoor products and write a gear review column, asked me if I wanted the job. I grunted yes and embarked on a journey into the world of outdoor product testing.<\/p>\n
Besides a tragic incident involving a men\u2019s outdoor grooming kit (I don\u2019t recommend waxing in the wilderness), it\u2019s mostly been rewarding and fun. My only issue is I\u2019ve been sent a lot of great products by unique companies that don\u2019t fit in my column.<\/p>\n
So, in the spirit of second chances, I compiled my top five choices from stuff I\u2019ve had to cut. If you\u2019ve put off Christmas shopping until the last minute, any of the following products would make great gifts.<\/p>\n
Trapper Buck\u2019s Lucky Animal Parts<\/strong><\/p>\n Do you remember the joy you felt as child when you were given a hacked off bunny\u2019s foot as a good luck charm? Well, Trapper Buck has come out with a line of exotic animal parts for any occasion when you could use a little boost in your karma.<\/p>\n Nervous about a job interview? I recommend wearing Buck\u2019s dried beaver tail, complete with castor glands attached, around your neck.<\/p>\n Or, maybe you\u2019re going on a date with someone you really don\u2019t want to screw it up with? Trust me, wearing one of Buck\u2019s shrunken dried bear heads will put your date at ease and act as a great conversation piece.<\/p>\n \u2018Anxious about trying to network at a suit and tie event? Buck\u2019s frozen sea lion liver charm will assure your place in high society.<\/p>\n Prices vary, but will trade for dynamite; trapperbuck.com<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sexy Beast Ware<\/strong><\/p>\n Have you ever wanted to bring sexy back to wilderness wanders? Or needed to move like a cheetah but felt too self conscious to do so? I know I have.<\/p>\n Sexy Beast has created a line of hot, fun and practical outdoor ware for those occasions when your Grundens and Sitka Gear aren\u2019t making you look fantastic enough. For her, try the pink camouflage and moisture wicking mini-skirt with \u201cYou Betcha\u2019!\u201d written with rhinestones on the back. For him, hands down, it\u2019s the tiger stripe tights that roar as a reminder that you can wear spandex and still be a man.<\/p>\n $249.00-$349.00;sexybeastware.com<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ted\u2019s Amazing Sticks<\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019ve lost count of the number of times I\u2019ve been on a magical outing in the woods only to have it ruined when I couldn\u2019t find the right walking stick. Then, there were all the camping trips that turned into disasters because I couldn\u2019t find the right stick for a fire or for roasting marshmallows. Thankfully Ted\u2019s Amazing Sticks has the perfect stick for any \u201cstick-mergency\u201d you might find yourself in. Ted was quoted as saying \u201cLong as I right \u2018member, I been collecting these sticks. My mama used to throw a fit cause there was no room in the house with all my sticks. She said, \u2018Ted, I\u2019m going to have to buy another house cause all your sticks.\u2019 Now she\u2019s right proud.\u201d<\/p>\n Each of Ted\u2019s sticks are ergonomic, water resistant and custom picked for your specific needs. Many may be antiques!<\/p>\n Prices vary, or will trade for other sticks; tedsamazingsticks.com<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Grizz Bath and Body Products<\/strong><\/p>\n Tired of all the metro fragrance and lotion lines modeled by nearly naked stick women? Grizz Bath and Body offers the chance to get in touch with your wild femininity and run with the wolves; literally, if you use some of Grizz\u2019s fragrances.<\/p>\n The company\u2019s founder, Jess \u201cGrizz\u201d Adams may be most famous for challenging Giorgio Armani to a death-match, but her philosophy of a woman using her unwashed body as a base and working with organic ingredients from there is proving revolutionary.<\/p>\n Some of her lotions and perfumes make me nostalgic for the trapline and field dressing a rutting caribou. My favorite is Spruce With A Hint of Wolverine Anal Gland Face Moisturizer. I know I will make my gal MC\u2019s Christmas when she receives a Grizz\u2019s Bath and Body Gift Basket.<\/p>\n $300.00, or will trade for a live wolverine; grizzbathandbody.com<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Crystal Farm\u2019s Psychic Loons<\/strong><\/p>\n Farming for crystals didn\u2019t quite work out for the Farm, but their flock of clairvoyant loons has taken the psychic bird market by storm. For a while I was inseparable from the loon the Farm sent me. His name was Simon. He was so wise; he made me call him \u201cFather\u201d and relieved me of all my earthly burdens like my money, home and car. He also taught me not to communicate with my family or anyone who would not call him Master. Simon could be really funny and loved to laugh but he also had an incredible amount of depth. Tragically, MC mistook him for a duck and we\u2019re going to eat him for Christmas dinner.<\/p>\n All your possessions and your soul, plus tax;THECRYSTALFARM.com<\/p>\n \u2022 Bjorn Dihle is a Juneau writer. Check out the preview of his first book, \u201cHaunted Inside Passage,\u201d and follow him at www.facebook.com\/BjornDihleauthor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This August the editor of Alaska Magazine, looking for someone with Stone Age tendencies to test outdoor products<\/a> and write a gear review<\/a> column, asked me if I wanted the job. I grunted yes and embarked on a journey into the world of outdoor product testing. 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