{"id":26828,"date":"2017-05-14T17:33:58","date_gmt":"2017-05-15T00:33:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/spijue.wpengine.com\/news\/mother-of-all-days\/"},"modified":"2017-05-14T17:33:58","modified_gmt":"2017-05-15T00:33:58","slug":"mother-of-all-days","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/life\/mother-of-all-days\/","title":{"rendered":"Mother of All Days"},"content":{"rendered":"

Break out the white wine and Dansko clogs \u2014 it\u2019s Mother\u2019s Day 2017.<\/span><\/p>\n

Today, we honor the women who gave us life (and mom jeans), not only our own mothers, but all mothers, regardless of pre-existing conditions.<\/p>\n

The holiday traces its roots to 1908, when Anna Jarvis organized the first Mother\u2019s Day in Grafton, West Virginia as part of a growing national movement. After several years of Congressional pushback \u2014 see? Lawmakers enjoy a rich history of inexplicable opposition, even to apolitical initiatives like recognizing American moms \u2014 President Woodrow Wilson officially designated the holiday in 1914.<\/p>\n

Interestingly enough, commercialization soon grew so rampant, by 1923 the same Anna Jarvis started campaigning to rescind Mother\u2019s Day, or at least stop its exploitation by big business. We all know how that went.<\/p>\n

Of course, there\u2019s more to Mother\u2019s Day than re-gifted perfume and last-minute gas station flowers.<\/p>\n

Believe me, I\u2019m a stay-at-home dad. Few people appreciate the demands of being a mom like a stay-at-home-dad.<\/p>\n

You see, nine years ago, my wife and I faced that all-important question: who would go back to work at the end of family leave? She was a lawyer; I was unemployed. The decision made itself \u2014and we both got to keep our jobs.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve since spent nearly a decade embedded with an army of moms. And I\u2019ll tell you, they\u2019re some bad mama jamas.<\/p>\n

Motherhood is an incredible undertaking \u2014 just laundry, alone. And the rewards? Well, the rewards usually entail more laundry. So much laundry.<\/p>\n

Raising children is a full-time gig, only with bosses who sometimes wet the bed\u2026 and it\u2019s your bed. For most moms, that\u2019s in addition to a \u201cregular\u201d full-time job \u2026 and possibly another part-time job after that. Not to mention a side gig hawking essential oils.<\/p>\n

True, today\u2019s dads tend to be more involved than in generations past. Or at least they make up for it by giving their kids a global real-estate empire or an office in the West Wing or something.<\/p>\n

But inequality persists. For instance, group emails are flying fast and furious lately about summer camp plans. I\u2019m the only person on these distribution lists who uses beard oil (at least that I know of), just like how emails from my son\u2019s old playgroup were addressed \u201cHey, Ladies (and Geoff).\u201d And have you been to a kid\u2019s birthday party, lately? It\u2019s like a yoga pants convention. Sponsored by La Croix.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve noticed similar mom-dominance, or \u201cmominance,\u201d at doctor\u2019s appointments; swimming practice; figure skating lessons; Girl Scouts meetings (actually, even I usually bail on those) \u2014basically, anything involving kids, but not beer.<\/p>\n

Point is, even in 2017 society still expects mothers to shoulder an unequal share of parental responsibilities, on top of their already disproportionate physical burden. A mother carries a child inside her body for nine months; dad\u2019s contribution is finished in what, like four minutes?<\/p>\n

All this bears recognizing, especially today, Mother\u2019s Day. In fact, is that the best we can do? One measly day? I say we make it a whole week \u2026 or at the very least a Mother\u2019s Thursday-through-Sunday. Four-day weekend!<\/p>\n

Of course, Alaska moms are in a league of their own (and I don\u2019t mean a recreational hockey league, although that\u2019s true, too).<\/p>\n

First of all, the weather adds degrees of difficulty to every pursuit \u2014 perhaps none more than parenting, as anyone who\u2019s ever tried keeping mittens on a toddler can attest.<\/p>\n

And then there\u2019s the mess. Alaska is messy. Kids are messy. Together, they\u2019re my mom\u2019s worst nightmare. Seriously, the woman brings her own rubber gloves every time she comes up here.<\/p>\n

In Alaska, the prospect of bear mauling always remains a possibility \u2014 I used to walk my infant daughter blasting Slayer on the trail \u2014 and an eagle might snatch your baby right out of the Bjorn. Also, if there\u2019s any water, at least one if not all of your kids will wind up in that water, especially if you didn\u2019t bring a change of clothes and are still several miles from anywhere resembling warm and dry.<\/p>\n

Plus, Alaska moms know stuff \u2014 like home remedies involving olive oil and creative uses for old yogurt containers, but also how to jump-start a car and operate an excavator.<\/p>\n

Alaska moms are fishing boat captains, wilderness guides, carpenters, mountaineers, ski racers, welders, doulas, miners, ultra-runners, truck drivers, moose hunters and senior U.S. Senators. And then there\u2019s the most famous Alaska mom of all \u2014 the mother of all mothers, so to speak\u2014mama grizz, herself, or, as I like to call her, She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.<\/p>\n

Actually, that\u2019s a bit harsh, likening Sarah Palin to Voldemort \u2014 on Mother\u2019s Day, no less. Although, even the Ministry of Magic can\u2019t deny: she\u2019s back.<\/p>\n

Anyway, Happy Mother\u2019s Day to all you moms out there.<\/p>\n

Being married with children, there are two mothers in my life, now. Let me tell you, my wife just loves it when I call her \u201cmommy.\u201d Especially in bed.<\/p>\n

Still, she deserves a special shout out. I may be our kids\u2019 primary caregiver, but I\u2019ll never be their mother. Which is why I buy them so much ice cream. And never make them bathe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2022 Geoff Kirsch is an award-winning Juneau-based writer and humorist. \u201cSlack Tide\u201d appears every second and fourth Sunday.<\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Break out the white wine and Dansko clogs \u2014 it\u2019s Mother\u2019s Day 2017. Today, we honor the women who gave us life (and mom jeans), not only our own mothers, but all mothers, regardless of pre-existing conditions. The holiday traces its roots to 1908, when Anna Jarvis organized the first Mother\u2019s Day in Grafton, West […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":107,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","wds_primary_category":7,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"yst_prominent_words":[],"class_list":["post-26828","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26828","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/107"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26828"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26828\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26828"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26828"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26828"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=26828"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}