Lyrics: Colors of Truth<\/a>]<\/p>\nHe chose to pun with the spelling of the veins in the body because all veins lead to the hub of the heart, he said.<\/p>\n
Later on in life, especially during his divorce, that vanity \u201ccost me a lot,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
Now, he said, he tries to \u201cgive glory\u201d to what he knows are the most important things in life \u2014 family and forgiveness. He mentions his four-year-old son often.<\/p>\n
\u201cEveryone\u2019s in need of forgiveness, and we close ourselves off to understanding by pretending that we don\u2019t have regrets in life, or that there aren\u2019t people out there that are hurting \u2014 people that we wronged or whatever,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
He moved back to Juneau in 2013. \u201cI was just really sad before that, I guess,\u201d he said. \u201cI think I was just pretty messed up for a few years there. There was almost a year where I didn\u2019t even listen to music.\u201d<\/p>\n
But in 2015, with \u201cpeople dying, classmates that I had that passed and just \u2014 seeing things get ugly, it just brought me to write,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
Though he stopped for years, Carrillo made music when he was younger as well; he graduated from Juneau-Douglas High School in 2003. He estimates he spent 1,000 hours on music in the first six months he started it up again.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy music is just \u2014 it makes people think about stuff that\u2019s not always the most fun thing, but life is hard for everybody, and I don\u2019t just pretend like it isn\u2019t,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
Encouragement has helped him continue. So has realizing his own skill, he said.<\/p>\n
He buys and leases beats, or rhythmic accompaniment, from people that create them, then creates his songs around them.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll spend hours looking for something,\u201d he said. \u201cWhen I find it, it becomes an obsession to bond with it and to write to it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Beats aren\u2019t cheap, however, and he\u2019s been making his music mostly for free, putting it on YouTube, SoundCloud and Facebook. Soon he\u2019ll be taking steps toward selling his work and getting it to a bigger market, he said.<\/p>\n
The videos, which feature personal photos, are \u201chow I like to honor people that are close to me.\u201d Many songs, he dedicates to a friend.<\/p>\n
Though Carrillo wasn\u2019t one of the twelve chosen for the 2016 TeamBackPack Draft class, it won\u2019t be long before he performs again \u2014 he\u2019s one of five featured poets for Woosh Kinaadeiy\u00ed\u2019s Summer Showcase fundraiser on June 25 in Juneau. \u201cIt feels like I failed but I know that\u2019s not how it is. You helped carry me to this moment, and a man must be willing to go forward alone. I\u2019ll be here again.\u201d he wrote on Facebook, congratulating the 12 rappers chosen and calling them \u201cthe cream of the crop.\u201d<\/p>\n
Whether he\u2019s here in Juneau or auditioning in New York, one thing stays the same, he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI used to have stage fright just like everybody else,\u201d he said. \u201cWhat really empowered me is just realizing that when you stand under the light of judgment and you speak the trueness that you know, when … you speak from the heart, they\u2019re always going to believe you. That\u2019s what\u2019s let me know this is what I should be doing with my life. You don\u2019t always have to show everybody that you\u2019re strong and everything, because other people can make you strong also by encouragement and forgiveness and healing, and a lot of my music is about those things. Courage and going into the unknown, as long as you have a little bit of hope.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA person\u2019s destiny is their only real obligation,\u201d he added, referencing the book \u201cThe Alchemist\u201d by Paulo Coelho. \u201cJust (following) the path that you\u2019re supposed to follow \u2014 I feel like that\u2019s what success is to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Carrillo\u2019s instagram account is @veinglorious.<\/p>\n
\u2022 Contact Capital City Weekly managing editor Mary Catharine Martin at maryc.martin@capweek.com.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
* This article has been edited to clarify the description of Team BackPack and Carrillo’s reasons for getting back into music. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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