Tired of yo-yo diets? Of losing weight,<\/p>\n
then regaining it right back? Tired of counting calories,<\/p>\n
eating bland meals received in the mail,<\/p>\n
attending meetings to learn you aren’t losing<\/p>\n
weight as fast as others?<\/p>\n
Our program is called Neutralize Appetite Guide<\/p>\n
and Never Again Gain or simply NAG & NAG.<\/p>\n
This program relieves you of tiresome<\/p>\n
responsibility and restrain by personifying<\/p>\n
your guilty conscience.<\/p>\n
Dependent on the plan chosen, a scolding specialist<\/p>\n
will text or call at regular mealtimes and bedtime,<\/p>\n
criticize what you ate and what you might eat<\/p>\n
and warn of the evils of bedtime snacking.<\/p>\n
Using blends of humiliation and guilt<\/p>\n
our agents will motivate you to eat less<\/p>\n
and avoid between-meal snacks.<\/p>\n
For only a modest monthly payment<\/p>\n
we guarantee misery.<\/p>\n
To initiate NAG & NAG and change your life,<\/p>\n
call the toll-free number on the screen.<\/p>\n
— Richard Stokes<\/em><\/p>\n The Capital City Weekly accepts submissions of poetry, fiction and nonfiction for Writers\u2019 Weir. To submit a piece for consideration, email us at editor@capweek.com.<\/b><\/p>\n A poem by Richard Stokes. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":106,"featured_media":49261,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","wds_primary_category":7,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[74,73],"yst_prominent_words":[],"class_list":["post-49260","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life","tag-arts-and-culture","tag-ccw"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49260","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/106"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=49260"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49260\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/49261"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=49260"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=49260"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=49260"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juneauempire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=49260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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