Commentary: Reynolds was an unstoppable, unsinkable working mom

  • By MARY ANNA EVANS
  • Friday, December 30, 2016 1:02am
  • Opinion

Debbie Reynolds sang in the rain. She sang with her broken foot soaking in a bucket of ice. She sang after her husband left her for the most famous woman on Earth, and she danced, too.

She sang when she surely would rather have been home with her children.

In the 1950s, when American society would have had you believe that no woman could ask for any more satisfying life than to be a homemaker, Debbie Reynolds worked like a longshoreman. And she did it with grace and style, never letting us see her sweat. (Surely, dancers sweat. You know they do.)

She sang, danced and acted on Broadway, in Hollywood, in Vegas. She owned a dance studio. She made an exercise video, “Do It Debbie’s Way.” She was actively involved in charitable work for people with mental health issues for more than a half-century.

She was a businesswoman who owned and ran a Las Vegas hotel and a museum of Hollywood memorabilia. She lost them to bankruptcy and she lost a fortune to a deceitful husband, but that just goes to show that Hollywood royalty can suffer through the same problems as the rest of us. When life knocked her down, she got back up and danced. She was unsinkable.

How many generations have loved Debbie Reynolds for her fresh-faced blond beauty, her smile and her soaring voice? She loved us all back, because that’s what performers do. Love is the engine that powers million-watt smiles and blinding star power. The question that can’t be answered is whether much of the love we feel makes it back to our stars. For this, they have families and friends, just like the rest of us do.

This week, the death of Reynolds so close on the heels of her daughter Carrie Fisher’s passing has put their relationship on full display — not that it hasn’t been on display for years. Fisher famously chronicled the difficulties of life in a celebrity family in a series of memoirs, and both women discussed each other in interviews that were always touching and often heartbreaking.

When sharing the pain of a 10-year estrangement from her daughter in an interview with People, Reynolds said: “I’ve always been a good mother, but I’ve always been in show business, and I’ve been on stage and I don’t bake cookies and I don’t stay home.”

In a recent interview with NPR, Fisher’s words mirror her mother’s, only from the child’s point-of-view: “She’s an extraordinary woman. Extraordinary. There’s very few women from her generation who worked like that, who just kept a career going all her life, and raised children, and had horrible relationships, and lost all her money, and got it back again.”

Perhaps no parent-child relationship ever achieves equilibrium until the child is old enough to understand a parent’s choices and perhaps forgive them. In any case, Reynolds and Fisher mended their relationship, even to the point of buying side-by-side homes and settling in as next-door neighbors.

Fisher’s earliest memories were of a face she called as beautiful as a Christmas morning and a voice that could lilt melodies as sweet as “Tammy, Tammy, Tammy’s in love.” Reynolds’ last words were, “I want to be with Carrie.” As sad as this image is, it is also a beautiful one, as beautiful as only a mother’s love can be.

Reynolds would want us to remember her singing and her dancing and her million megawatt smile, but perhaps she will pardon us if we also remember her as a woman whose last thought was for her daughter.

She wanted to be with Carrie. And now she is.

• Mary Anna Evans is an assistant professor at the University of Oklahoma, where she teaches fiction and nonfiction writing. Her newest novel, “Burials,” will be released in March. She wrote this for the Dallas Morning News.

More in Opinion

Web
Have something to say?

Here’s how to add your voice to the conversation.

A preliminary design of Huna Totem’s Aak’w Landing shows an idea for how the project’s Seawalk could connect with the city’s Seawalk at Gold Creek (left). (Jasz Garrett / Juneau Empire file photo)
Opinion: To make Juneau affordable, grow our economy

Based on the deluge of comments on social media, recent proposals by… Continue reading

The White House in Washington, Jan. 28, 2025. A federal judge said on Monday, Feb. 3, 2025, that she intended to temporarily block the Trump administration from imposing a sweeping freeze on trillions of dollars in federal grants and loans, adding to the pushback against an effort by the White House’s Office and Management and Budget. (Doug Mills/The New York Times)
My Turn: A plea for Alaska’s delegation to actively oppose political coup occurring in D.C.

An open letter to Alaska’s Congressional delegation: I am a 40-year resident… Continue reading

Sen. Dan Sullivan (R-Alaska) questions Pete Hegseth, President-elect Donald Trump’s pick to lead the Pentagon, during his confirmation hearing before the Senate Armed Services Committee at the Capitol in Washington on Tuesday morning, Jan. 14, 2025. (Kenny Holston/The New York Times)
Opinion: Sen. Sullivan doesn’t know the meaning of leadership

Last Wednesday, Sen. Dan Sullivan should have been prepared for questions about… Continue reading

Current facilities operated by the private nonprofit Gastineau Human Services Corp., which is seeking to add to its transitional housing in Juneau. (Gastineau Human Services Corp. photo)
Opinion: Housing shouldn’t be a political issue — it’s a human right

Alaska is facing a crisis — one that shouldn’t be up for… Continue reading

(Juneau Empire file photo)
Letter: In the spirit of McKinley, a new name for Juneau

Here is a modest proposal for making Juneau great again. As we… Continue reading

(Juneau Empire file photo)
Letter: Protect the balance of democracy

We are a couple in our 70s with 45-plus years as residents… Continue reading

President Donald Trump signs executive orders in the Oval Office of the White House in Washington on Monday, Jan. 20, 2025, following his inauguration as the 47th president. Legal experts said the president was testing the boundaries of executive power with aggressive orders designed to stop the country from transitioning to renewable energy. (Doug Mills/The New York Times)
Opinion: Sen. McConnell, not God, made Trump’s retribution presidency possible

I’m not at all impressed by President Donald Trump’s executive order aimed… Continue reading

Juneau Assembly members confer with city administrative leaders during a break in an Assembly meeting Monday, Nov 18, 2024. (Mark Sabbatini / Juneau Empire file photo)
Opinion: Community affordability takes a back seat to Assembly spending

Less than four months ago, Juneau voters approved a $10 million bond… Continue reading

(Juneau Empire file photo)
Letter: Informing the Public?

The recent Los Angeles area firestorms have created their own media circus… Continue reading

Bins of old PFAS-containing firefighting foams are seen on Oct. 24, 2024, at the Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport fire department headquarters. The PFAS foams are due to be removed and sent to a treatment facility. The airport, like all other state-operated airports, is to switch to non-PFAS firefighting foams by the start of 2025, under a new state law. (Yereth Rosen/Alaska Beacon)
Opinion: A change for safer attire: PFAS Alternatives Act 2023

Perfluoroalkyl and polyfluoroalkyl substances, also known as PFAS, are man-made synthetic chemicals… Continue reading

Attendees are seated during former President Jimmy Carter’s state funeral at Washington National Cathedral in Washington, on Jan. 9, 2025. Pictures shared on social media by the vice president and by the Carter Center prominently showed other past presidents in attendance. (Erin Schaff/The New York Times)
Opinion: Karen Pence’s silent act of conscience

Last week at Jimmy Carter’s funeral, President-elect Donald Trump and former President… Continue reading